I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
