I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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