Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize