Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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