How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just forgot I was standing up.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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