I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
if only i could text you this smell
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
