where does the pee come out of this thing
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
