I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
