Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
