i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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