Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
