Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Randomize
