I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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