I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
