my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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