May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize
