Im at strip club and am horny
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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