we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
