4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize