Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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