It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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