mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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