Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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