I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
