i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
