I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
