you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
