brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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