Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
one might say we're banned from that church
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
