so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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