chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
