Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
