Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize