you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She's the barista slut.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
