I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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