In the future we'll all be gay
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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