do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
