I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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