She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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