Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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