wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
