Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
