You're earring is so big in my mouth
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
