i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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