I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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