i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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