Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
