Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
