I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize