I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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