Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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