It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
