Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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