Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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