areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
