She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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