i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
