Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
