There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
They are going to name an STD after you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
