Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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