Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
