He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
