:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
