ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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