omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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