I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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