we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
