i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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