I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
