My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize