i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
