Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
