All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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