Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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