I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
