Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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