I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
